Getting a beer gut? Whatever, you were never that good-looking anyway.

Sumo wrestlers may just look like fat guys in diapers pushing each other, but they're actually incredibly strong athletes that all devote their lives to the sumo lifestyle. Where they live, what they eat, and what they do is all heavily regimented. The goal of sumo wrestling is to either push the other guy out of the circle or knock him over, a classic "who's stronger" competition. It's recently come under fire for being almost laughably corrupt, making it just like every other major sport.

1980: The Quietly Confident Quartent wins the only Olympic swimming 4 x 100 m medley relay that the U.S. hasn't won.

1964: Barry Bonds is thrown out of his mother's womb after testing positive for performance-enhancing drugs.