Out of a job? Just learn to throw a football really far. And really accurately, while 300 pound gladiators try to end you. You'll get paid millions of dollars. That doesn't sound too hard.

The perfect non-alcoholic beverage, milk perfectly complements any type of food you can name. Having a cookie? Dip it in some milk. Cereal? Put some milk in a bowl of that shit. Steak? Now you're using all parts of the animal. Grapefruit? Nope, bad example. Make sure whenever you're having milk, it's whole milk, because you should never water down your beer. Why would you water down your milk? You wouldn't.

1953: The US conducts its first and only nuclear artillery test. The research is later discontinued because of all the boners the scientists kept getting.

1935: Jesse Owens breaks 3 world records and ties a 4th in under an hour at the 1935 Big Ten track meet. Greatest sports moment ever probably.