
Dear Dudefest Forum,
Everyone has their own 21st birthday stories and almost all of them involve drinking to excess, unless you don't drink, in which case you're not to be trusted. This story also has to do with alcohol consumption (shocking, I know). It's about the time my buddies and I all almost got arrested on my 21st birthday. Sorry if you're reading this, Hollywood.
My birthday is the day before St. Patrick's Day which always means that people are looking to have a good time. It also means that I get to extend my drinking binges to two days instead of one, so I've got that going for me, which is nice. It also meant that when I was in college I never got to celebrate at my college, because the admins realized that you can throw all of us hooligans on spring break for St. Paddy's and you won't have to deal with all the bullshit that a drinking holiday involves. So I was in Florida with a bunch of my fraternity brothers. We had spent most of the week at Daytona beach (during bike week, which is another story) and had returned to one of my brother's houses in Winter Park for the tail end of the week.
We were going out in Winter Park, which is home to Rollins College. The town and bars were super nice, we all got plenty fucked up for several hours and were finally kicked out of the bars when they shut down around 2 am. Being the rowdy fellas we are we decided to strike out onto Rollins' campus to find ourselves an after party to attend. Campus was dead quiet. After wandering through the entirety of campus we hadn't found anything, and Goldilocks (one of my brothers) had broken his toe trying to do a backflip. So he was being carried around on Tasty's back and singing his lungs out. Goldilocks has a beautiful voice.
Out of nowhere a huge blacked out pickup truck tore across the street and parked right next to us. Out stepped a huge man with a bad attitude.
"Winter Park Police! I need to see IDs right now!"
"Fuck."
Just then I remembered that Tasty was using my fake ID to get into bars. Double fuck. I'm mentally screaming: Don't you dare give that to the cop, Tasty.
We hand over our IDs, which confuses the shit out of the cop because not a single one of our IDs were from Florida and to further confuse the cop they were from several different states in the Northeast. He took all of them into the car, did whatever cops do with IDs in cars and then
questioned us.
We explained that we were "waiting for a sober ride home" at which point he stopped being a huge dick and instead put on a big smile.
"Oh, you kids are being responsible huh? Well I can get behind that. I'm just trying to keep everyone safe."
"So we're free to go?"
"Yea, yea, that's cool. Hey, I get off in 30 minutes. If y'all wanna keep drinking I'm heading to [some bar] in Orlando. I'll buy you guys a drink. Y'all be safe now, and see y'all later."
Weirdest near arrest ever.
Jimmy Fraturday is THE authoritative voice on playing sports with a beer in hand. He is the son of two great Americans, and he enjoys a good gargoyle over a keg stand. He recently stopped drinking Natty Light during the week. All hate mail can be directed to his email.