MUSINGS FROM OUR CHEAPSKATE BEER SNOB
Display download  2
The Deli Gamble
Smigoversen
May 16, 2014

Buying beer at the grocery store is a chump's game. Real dudes go to your local delicatessen (corner stores/gas stations work too). For a long time they have satisfied my needs completely—my college beer was purchased almost exclusively from the corner store Graby's on Wescott in 'Cuse.

 

What's great about Graby's is that I knew it was a sure thing. They sold a shit ton of beer so you didn't have to worry about it being stale. It wasn't cold all the time—but if that was the case I would just pretend to be English and I didn't mind anymore. People were definitely annoyed by the accent though.

 

Now I live in Brooklyn. There are six delis within walking distance of my apartment. That's a lot of options, because each of them have a different beer selection. Therefore, you need to do your research and find the best deals. This is no time to get cute, if you haven't tried something before, don't let this trip to a rando bodega be your first time. That shit's probably been sitting on the shelf for a year or longer. For example, I accidentally bought a Brooklyn Dry Irish Stout in November. I later took a look at when it's brewed and discovered it was last year's batch because it wouldn't come out for three more months.

 

Really you should avoid craft beer in general. You're the only person buying them. Maybe you can take a look if you see a new one. This leaves you two options: Mega-breweries like Bud and Coors or weird foreign beers.

 

The good news is if you go for something south of the border, Montezuma's Revenge won't be on the table. Unless the brewery put a hex on that particular can (it's always a can—unless it's a 40 which is always an option for a dudefest dude such as yourself). The important thing is to trust your gut. Does it look skunked? (Some people can tell.) How trustworthy looking does the man behind the counter look? Has the power gone out for an extended period of time recently? Do you think the store owner pays his electricity bill? (OK that might be a little overboard.)

 

No matter what, it'll be alright. Even if your beer is skunky, you won't notice after a couple and it gives you an excuse not to share. In general, you shouldn't give someone a skunked beer. It's in poor taste.

Smigoversen reads the words and drinks the beers. He twitters here.

2 Comments
05-24-2014 | 2:04 PM
So your expert beer advice is to racially and socio-ecomomically profile the establishment I'm purchasing my beer from? Man, you're a phony!
05-18-2014 | 7:37 PM
I love gambling, but prefer the kinds where I can win money to buying beer in odd places
Display beer mug
Published on
Friday
First Article
January 04, 2014
Articles
36
Smigoversen (and occasionally Fraturday) perform "experiments" with alcohol. Every Friday they report their findings. Their observations are unreliable at best.
RECENT BEER MUSINGS
RECENT COMMENTS
18 days ago
As the name suggests, vmate App is videos downloader resume. in any case, it features a considerable measure of parts which render it totally...
on Best ROCKY Movies
2 months ago
锘縱mate is significant gigantic software relatively seen in huge numbers of people universal. in this request offers complete film to the user at...
on Review of TRANSFORMERS: AGE OF EXTINCTION
2 months ago
锘縱mate is one of the crucial large application very looked at and also by many of us internationally. this excellent app will provide complete...
on Review of THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION
2 months ago
As suggested by its name, vmate App is a slidemovie downloader job application. no matter the reason, it features considerable way of measuring...
on America's Sweetheart (Jennifer Lawrence's Booty)
2 months ago
锘縱mate is essentially the most colossal software package passing used courtesy of a myriad of people intercontinental. our instance renders...
on Review of THE INCREDIBLE HULK
3 months ago
锘縱mate is most people large iphone app ultra looked at with untold numbers of folks across the globe. this one app features complete activity for...
on THE REPLACEMENTS (Where Are They Now?)
3 months ago
锘? vmate is usually software package that lets you free download [url=http://www.vmate.com/]vmate[/url] video lessons plus songs this Youtube,...
on Review of X-MEN: DAYS OF FUTURE PAST
3 months ago
锘? vmate is certainly an software package that allows you to download and read [url=http://www.vmate.com/]vmate[/url] clips then songs inside the...
on Review of CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER
4 months ago
锘? vmate may well be an practical application that allows you to receive [url=http://www.vmate.com/]vmate[/url] tutorials and moreover songs on...
on Review of RISE OF THE FALL OF THE DAWN OF THE PLANET OF THE APES
4 months ago
锘? vmate is surely an app that lets you find [url=http://www.vmate.com/]vmate[/url] music videos and as a consequence songs your Youtube,...
on THE REPLACEMENTS (Where Are They Now?)