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The C Word
Sliz
June 25, 2014

Dudes have said some pretty filthy shit to me over the years: slut bag, gigantic les, heinous witch, and oh so many more. But there is only one word that ever receives an apology in the presence of a female: the word "cunt". It’s safe to say that the world is mostly desensitized to all swear words with the exception of cunt. It still remains the Holy Grail of curse words. And unlike its scathing counterparts, "cunt" has actually become even more offensive over time! How the fuck did that happen? Seriously, am I the only one scratching my head on this issue? Personally I have always enjoyed saying the word "cunt". Except I can’t seem to say it without getting “you’re so offensive” looks from everyone in earshot. I’m sure this is pissing off you feminists to no end, but before you go on a raging bitch fest about how I don’t understand what it means to be a woman or some shit- why don’t you all just back the fuck up? I did a little research on the subject of cunt terminology and I now plan to use it even more. You dudes should do the same!

 

What does it mean? – The original definition of the word cunt was first used in the 17th century for medical diagnostics to describe the covering of any muscles in the human body. This means that cunt was said on a regular basis to describe the anatomy of a female or male. Doesn’t seem that offensive right? You know what is? Vagina. It’s a Latin term that translates to “sword sheath.” Meaning that the word vagina, referring to lady parts, was just a place for a dude to stash his “sword.” Now I’m no feminist scholar, but I’m pretty damn sure that’s a down right asshole thing to say that lady parts are only exist for dick storage. My theory is some linguistic expert came along and said “Cunt is way more fun to say than vagina! Let’s switch them!” At least that’s what I would have done.

 

Why is it so offensive? – From what I can gander about this issue is that the feminists hold all the cards and can’t seem to make up their minds. One minute it’s obscene to call a woman a cunt, the next minute it’s considered empowering to the female race. PICK A FUCKING SIDE ALREADY! I personally could give zero fucks what you decide because I’m going to keep saying it regardless, but I have a hunch that there are a lot of dudes out there that require a little guidance. I mean, seriously-- how can you dudes not be wanting to say cunt all the time especially after hearing (and seeing) it every five minutes on Game of Thrones? This debate has been going on since the 1970s and you’d be a dumbass to just wait for an answer. You dudes are only human, so ignore the feminists and do whatever you want! Plus, you have HBO on your side.

 

Why do we care? – After completing extensive research on the subject I’ve come to the conclusion that the only reason we get so butt hurt over "cunt" is because people enjoy having a taboo word in our vocabulary. How else are we supposed to know if someone is incredibly pissed off? For example, lets examine Rebecca Martinson’s screaming email to her sorority. Martinson uses the word "fuck" a grand total of 41 times and nobody batted an eye, but when she said “cunt punt” the shit hit the fan. By dropping the c-bomb Martinson sent a message that she means business and isn’t fucking around… plus it’s super fun to say "cunt punt". For some reason people like saving one word to only be used on rare occasions; therefore, making it that much more offensive and hurtful when used in an argument. Case closed.

 

While I respect the idea of saving "cunt" for special occasions, I don’t agree with having one word to express my anger. I guess I’m just too much of a softy. So now that I’ve provided you dudes with the true meaning of the word go ahead and say it! Plus now you can look super smart when bhetches give you the “you’re so offensive” look. I now leave you with this… I have always loved saying the word cunt and NONE OF YOU MOTHER FUCKING CUNTS CAN STOP ME!

Sliz is the angriest writer for Dudefest.com, the other dudes speculate this is due to her not being a dude.

3 Comments
06-25-2014 | 3:47 PM
When I was a kid I thought the C-word was "crap". Boy was I wrong.
06-25-2014 | 11:17 AM
A girls butthole is a good alternative to the vagina as far as sword sheathing is concerned.
06-25-2014 | 10:15 PM
Dude not if you've seen what I've seen. It just doesn't always work out.
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