LETTERS TO THE DUDEFEST FORUM
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This One Time In Mexico...
Jimmy Fraturday
August 04, 2014

Dear Dudefest Forum,

 

I have another Mexico story for you, but this time it actually involves me getting some action.

 

As many of you loyal readers know, I took a trip a few years ago with two of my fraternity brothers to Cancun. We stayed at a super nice all-inclusive resort on the beach and proceeded to do nothing but get drunk, all day and all night for a week. During these drunken days we managed to find some ladies, and by we, I mean me. I was the only one of the three to get any action on the trip, but we'll save those bragging rights for another time.

 

So we met these girls at our hotel, one of whom was a cute brunette with great cans (lets call her Agatha, because writing these stories with old lady names gives me a boner) who would best be described as a slut. Plain and simple. Which is great on spring break in Mexico, because there are no rules. Now Agatha loved giving BJs, which is definitely a great quality that all women should strive for. On this particular day I was turning 20, so along with the usual festivities of being drunk assholes, we were also celebrating my birthday. I was very drunk (to say the least) by 1 pm, and so was Agatha. Being the caring and thoughtful girl she was, she whispered in my ear that she really wanted to take me up to my room and give me my birthday present. So, we downed our drinks and very blatantly walked to the elevator and went up to my room.

 

Once inside, Agatha pushed me onto the bed (which really wasn't hard because I was a "ham-sandwich"), ripped my bathing suit off and proceeded to blow me. It felt pretty good, but I was also really tired from day drinking and had a pretty serious case of whiskey dick. I was hard, but I knew there was no way on God's green earth that this girl was going to make me cum. So, eventually my eyes closed and time passed by. I awoke with a start to hear Agatha say,

 

Agatha: "Heyyyy, are you gonna come soon? My jaw is starting to get locked up."

 

Me: "Ohhh really? Has it been that long?"

 

Agatha: "Yeah, I've been at it for almost an hour."

 

I looked over at the clock, and sure enough she had been blowing me for close to a full hour. I laughed a little and said that we could finish things later, while in my head I thought, wow this chick just blew me for an hour while I was sleeping, her father would be so proud. So we went back downstairs and the afternoon flew by.

 

Fast forward to about midnight. Once again we were all shitfaced, but we had moved inside to the main lobby bar. We had all changed out of bathing suits and the such to more nightlife-ish clothing. Agatha was drunk and very... handsy. So handsy, in fact, that she would not stop trying to give me a handjob while I was standing at the bar, surrounded by our group of friends. She was consistently unbuttoning and unzipping my shorts and reaching down in there. So, I tried to deal with it, first by swatting her hands away - and when I realized that that wasn't going to work, I just tried to position myself so that the least number of people could see what was happening. Eventually, I brought Agatha back up to my room to hopefully satiate her hunger for my dong.

 

We re-assumed our earlier position, me laying on my back on the bed, her in beej position, and got right to work. I was ready this time, I knew I was going to actually be able to finish. As she's blowing me for round two, she looks up and says,

 

Agatha: "You feel pretty close?"

 

Me: "Yup, it's coming soon."

 

Agatha: "Come with me, were going in the shower."

 

I was confused, but curious, so I followed. She got on her knees in the shower (ouch) and continued, stopping only to say, "I want you to come all over my face." I'll be entirely honest with you, but only because we're best friends - the pressure was high. When a girl is literally BEGGING ON HER KNEES for you to finish all over her face there is no turning back. There is no room for error. You don't answer, "Sorry babe, I've had too much to drink."

 

So I did what every hero before me has done. I dug deep down inside of myself. I ignored the stupid amounts of alcohol coursing through my veins. I thought to myself, "What would the Little Engine That Could say?" And so I thought, I think I can, I think I can. And I did. I shot my man batter all over her face, and she gave me a huge grin. Happy 20th birthday to me.

Jimmy Fraturday is THE authoritative voice on playing sports with a beer in hand. He is the son of two great Americans, and he enjoys a good gargoyle over a keg stand. He recently stopped drinking Natty Light during the week. All hate mail can be directed to his email.

2 Comments
08-10-2014 | 7:27 PM
Whiskey Dick is a risky play with low-upside. I'm surprised it all worked out OK
08-06-2014 | 6:56 PM
I am Agatha's father and I approve this message.
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