EXCELLENT LIFE ADVICE FROM JIMMY FRATURDAY
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Jimmy Fraturday
February 01, 2014

We all get to that point towards the end of the semester when we realize that all that money we made over the summer has almost run out and the fridge is empty. This usually happened about 3 weeks from the end of the semester for Buffalo. He had been bumming booze off of the rest of us for a week or two and we were tired of having to pay for not only our own ridiculous drinking habits but his as well. Here’s the scene: Dawgie, Slam and myself are sitting around the room drinking our own booze when in came Buffalo. He asked each one of us for booze and we all refused. This is the following conversation as best as I can remember it:

 

Buffalo: “Dudes, come on. Give me some drinks. Stop being pussies.”

The rest of us: “Fuck off.”

Buffalo: “Dudes. I wanna drink. I’ll pay you back just spot me right now.”

The rest of us: “Fuck off.”

Buffalo: “I’ll do anything…”

 

Buffalo learned his lesson that day. Dudes, never ever tell other dudes that you’ll do anything for free booze.

 

Dawgie: “Buffalo, if you piss your pants right now, right where you are standing we will buy you and 30 and a twelver of something tasty”

 

We hadn’t discussed this but Slam and I were on board in a heartbeat.

 

Buffalo just looked at us, looked behind himself to see if anyone else was coming down the hall (we usually left the door wide open) and then pissed his pants right there in front of us. I’m still not sure if I’m proud or disgusted of him, but god dammit, nothing will get between Buffalo and booze. Moral of the story? Shit I have no idea. Sometimes if you want to get drunk you’ve got to piss your pants first.

Jimmy Fraturday thinks you should always have enough booze on hand, in case you need to get drunk at a moment's notice. Email him at jimmyfraturday@yahoo.com for solid advice.

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Jimmy Fraturday recounts stories of and shares his thoughts about his childhood, which took place in college.
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