MUSINGS FROM OUR CHEAPSKATE BEER SNOB
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Sixpoint Brewery: Beer in a Can Done Right
Smigoversen
August 08, 2014

Last week, we had a serious, one-sided discussion about the biggest rip-off in binge drinking: the Heineken 8.5 oz can. After much consideration, I realized that my blanket statement denounces decreases in beer serving sizes. There is one brewery out there that accomplished what Heineken was trying to do and succeeded: the Sixpoint Brewery.

 

These guys are can specialists. That sounds like a stupid specialty (like most people's graduate degrees) but trust me, these guys are the best at brewing beer in a can that doesn't taste like aluminum and regret. How? I'm not sure, that's probably a proprietary secret. All I know is they make several drinkable beers that taste just as good in the comfort of your own home out of a can as they do on tap at your local watering hole.

 

Up until recently, if you were buying Sixpoint you went home with a 4-pack of pounders (16 oz cans). All that changed recently when Sixpoint released their new sixer of 12 oz cans. When I first saw this in the bodega, I thought it was six pounders so I was a little disappointed when I got home. That feeling didn't last when I opened the box...

 

Oh yeah, they come in a cardboard box instead of a ring of dolphin-asphyxiators like this.

I got over my disappointment pretty quickly once I made the observation that, unlike a mini-Heineken can, Sixpoint 12 oz cans are the same height as their normal 16 oz cans. They're just a teensy bit skinnier, just like how a 12 oz Red Bull can is a slimmer version of the 16 oz Red Bull can. From a distance, a Sixpoint totally passes as a Red Bull. Not only that, they got the color right - SILVER, not GREEN like fucking Heineken. SILVER. Like a normal, non-alcoholic canned beverage that anyone of any age can drink in the middle of the street. That's six degrees from Kevin Bacon from getting an open container violation.

 

You might have noticed that I haven't mentioned what Sixpoint's various brews taste like yet. That's because I don't have to. Every single Sixpoint is better than 95% of every other beer in a can you will ever drink. Excluding random microbrews from various parts of the Midwest and northern Alaska that only come in cans because glass bottles are a scarce commodity. If you're drinking a Sixpoint at any time after 2 pm, you're in great shape.

Smigoversen, first of his name, Master of Words, Cheapskate Beer Snob, and Protector of the Realm can be reached by raven here.

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Smigoversen (and occasionally Fraturday) perform "experiments" with alcohol. Every Friday they report their findings. Their observations are unreliable at best.
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