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The Jets are Beating the Steelers This Week
Jimmy Fraturday
November 07, 2014

I'm a Jets fan. That means two things; 1. I'm cheering for a dumpster fire of a team that loves to flaunt how bad we are all over the national media and 2. I like to drink on Sundays. The Jets are...bad (again) and a lot of that has to do with a lack of talent on both the offensive and defensive sides of the ball. Our one win on the season thus far came against the Raiders in week one. But I'm not here to tell you about how the Jets might be able to string together enough drives to pull out a victory. That type of analysis is useless. No instead I know the Jets are going to win this week because the media cannot stop sucking the Pittsburgh Steelers' collective dick.

 

Big Ben usually spends his time between the rape accusations and motorcycle accidents throwing for 150 yards and a TD regardless of the outcome in the least highlight-friendly way possible. You could watch a Steelers game from kick-off to the final buzzer and not be sure who won because this team is so shit-tastic to watch. But it's clear that Benny Boy hasn't put away his Halloween costume yet, because he's been acting like a gunslinger the last two weeks. 12 touchdowns in two games (a.k.a. the number of TDs Geno Smith has thrown in his career and four more than Mike Vick and Geno have combined to throw all season). Add that fact with the fact that the Jets have one of the worst pass defenses in the league. Oh, and Antonio Brown is leading the league in both yards and receptions. All signs point to Pittsburgh winning right?

 

 

WRONG.

 

Why? Every jackass pretending to be a football expert has been talking about how unstoppable the Steelers offense has been. That is a recipe for disaster. Remember when the Giants went on a three game winning streak, and everyone was talking about how great they were playing? They haven't won since. Remember how everyone was talking about Cincy being a title contender at the start of the season? Did you watch that game against Cleveland on Thursday?

 

Here's where the Jets come in. They've got nothing to lose - except for a high draft pick because they will win this game and eke out a record just good enough to save Rex Ryan's job for another year. And to really seal the deal, I'm starting Big Ben in Fantasy this week because Andy "Troll Under the Bridge" Luck is on his bye.

 

This is one of those times when ESPN, Rotoworld, Yahoo, FOX Sports 1 (Ha ha just kidding no one watches that shit), are all dripping wet for a feel-good story because there hasn't been anything to get outraged about in a long time since Adrian Beaterson and Rage Rice are both somewhat out of the public eye. This is all they've got, they've hyped it up all week.

 

All of that confidence in the Steelers will be their downfall. Your team can't succeed if the press thinks they are good - look what happened to the Patriots when people started talking about trading Brady. That's why I cannot wait for Pitt to lose to New York. Not because I want them to win (I don't. We really need that draft pick.) But because I want to see the look on their faces when they get a hot load of poop instead of the footballgasm they were expecting.

Jimmy Fraturday is THE authoritative voice on playing sports with a beer in hand. He is the son of two great Americans, and he enjoys a good gargoyle over a keg stand. He recently stopped drinking Natty Light during the week. All hate mail can be directed to his email.

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August 12, 2014
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