JURASSIC PARK was released over two decades ago and it still holds up as one of the greatest movies ever, with cutting-edge visual effects that stand the test of time. Also, it’s got a bunch of dudes that get their faces eaten off by badass dinosaurs, which is even more Dudefest.
Hold onto your butts: John Hammond (played by your grandfather, probably) is a crazy guy that decides cloning dinosaurs is the best idea ever (we maintain that he is not wrong...) and wants to open up Jurassic Park, a theme park / zoo to display them. In predictable fashion, everything goes to shit immediately because one of his employees (Newman from Seinfeld, playing himself) decides that a better idea is to shut off the power to all the electric fences (you know, the ones keeping the dinosaurs from eating a shitload of people).
This movie is full of Dudefest stuff like Samuel L. Jackson surprising everyone by being in it. His character is awesome- his best line is, “Hold onto your butts!” and it’s the greatest bit of dialogue in cinematic history. He seems to be the only competent employee in the Park, because he realizes that Newman is a total shithead. Also that cloning a bunch of prehistoric murderbeasts maaaaaybe isn’t the greatest idea of all time.
There’s also Sam Neill, playing Dr. Alan Grant, a paleontologist who just about loses his shit when he finds out that he’s going to be able to see a T-Rex. Honestly, we would too, so you can’t blame the dude. T-Rexes are fucking badass and we wish someone would clone one for us. Dr. Grant spends the whole movie protecting this little dude, Timmy, who is possibly the most annoying human being on the planet. Nobody would have batted an eye if Dr. Grant let Timmy get eaten because he was so fucking infuriating, but it says a lot about the guy that he risks his own life to help the kid.
Bob Peck plays Robert Muldoon, and we don’t expect you to recognize either of those names. He gets a mention because he gets an incredibly dudefest death. He’s the guy that tracks the escaped velociraptors through the jungle, draws a bead on one with his shotgun, but then gets mauled from the side by a raptor he didn’t even know was there. Clever girl, indeed.
Last but not least, we have Jeff Goldblum. Nine times out of ten we could guarantee that any movie relying on Jeff Fucking Goldblum as the main sex appeal will be complete garbage, but for some reason, that goofy bastard absolutely kills it in his role as “sexy mathematician”. Goldblum, playing Dr. Ian Malcolm, spends the whole movie being sarcastic and acting kind of like a dick to the guy that’s giving him a free trip to see LIVE FUCKING DINOSAURS and unapologetically hitting on Dr. Grant’s girlfriend, and she totally digs it. Life finds a way, indeed.