LOCKOUT (2012)
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DUDEFEST RATING
6.50
Dudes
Guy Pearce
By Evan Finkle
February 17, 2014

Bad-assery, bad acting, worse writing, and what seemed like a billion dollar effects budget. If that doesn’t make a dudefest movie, then I don’t know what does. I can only assume you would choose to watch this movie because you saw Guy Pearce in the trailer and thought that if there is any part of this movie that is half as good as any part of MEMENTO, then it's worth a shot. Welllllllll........mmmmmmmmrrrrrhrhrh? Meh?

 

Guy Pearce plays that super calm, collected, wisecracking tough dude, who literally does not exist in real life. His life is how I imagine Bruce Willis' life is actually like. Pearce is similar to Willis in the sense that he’s smart enough to sell the jokes but also butch enough to sell the intimidating muscle act believably.

 

Naturally Pearce is framed in like the first three minutes of the movie. Secret documents were stolen from the US government and Pearce, in the process of getting them back, is blamed for stealing them in the first place. Just before Pearce gets caught though, he does a sick powerslide in a subway station and throws the documents onto a train to his partner. Pearce gets caught, his partner named Mace hides the documents, and subsequently gets caught shortly thereafter and sent up to space prison.

 

Meanwhile, UP IN SPACE… there is a prison break. Then a massive mutiny. They obviously take major hostages, including the president's daughter. UH-Ooohhhhh. This leaves only one option. Send Guy Pearce up into space to try to make a one manned rescue, so as to not rouse suspicion of the inmates.


Essentially Guy goes up, works to save the president's daughter (btw she’s in space doing some community service thing or like research on inmate health and wellness because thats what president's daughters do? I guess…), is bad-ass, takes punches, and wins. Also the president's daughter figures out where Mace hid the case, so she can set things straight for Guy when he comes back to earth. Good guy wins, Bad Guys lose. Good Shit. My only question is what the fuck was the President's daughter doing in space?

Sometimes a dudes' gotta pee...

R A T I N G S
6.5
It's like, boilerplate dudefest movie. Good stuff. Ain’t no great stuff though. I watched it, I made it through, I laughed when I was supposed to, etc...
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