Have you ever wanted to kill someone? Me neither, but you know who does? Patrick Bateman, Christian Bale’s character in this wonderfully twisted, dudefest of a movie. This flick has it all folks: violence, violence, sex, drugs, rock and roll, violence and alcohol. Also violence.

On the 0-10 scale, with 10 being a movie like THE NOTEBOOK, (see: chickflicks) AMERICAN PSYCHO comes in at a resounding -25. Don’t watch this movie with your girlfriend, or that cute girl that you know you have no shot with. I’d suggest something cute like WALL-E for that sort of shit.

Anyway, back to AMERICAN PYSCHO. This is a man’s movie. Our protagonist, Patrick Bateman is an investment banker with a penchant for violent murder. A short list of things he likes to do: murder people, drink heavily, do cocaine, drink more, smoke cigars, look good in a suit, fuck prostitutes, have threesomes with prostitutes, kill prostitutes after threesomes, and finally listen to music. Music actually plays an important part in this movie and if you appreciate some solid 80’s hits this movie might be for you.

The most important thing that can be derived from this film aside from murderous rampages is quite possibly the most dudefest sex scene in movie history. Aside from porn of course.

Let me set the scene. Bateman and his two prostitutes are elegantly dressed, Phil Collins is playing in the background and Bateman is describing how much he likes this particular Phil Collins song. The CD changes to the next song, “Sussudio”, which all of you need to go out and download immediately. Bateman and his lady friends enter the bedroom where he proceeds to pleasure them both. While this is pretty dudefest by itself the real best part is Bateman is filming the whole thing and also is constantly looking at himself in the mirror and flexing. If you’ve never had sex by a mirror, make that your weekend goal. But before you do, watch AMERICAN PSYCHO so you can impersonate Patrick Bateman. But just in bed. Don’t go around murdering people. That’s bad.