OZ: THE GREAT AND POWERFUL (2013)
Display gril9zy
Genres
DUDEFEST RATING
2.67
Dudes
James Franco
By Henry H. Henry
March 04, 2014

You know what movies have a really good track record? Movies based off the Wizard of Oz. That's why you hear so much about how THE WIZARD OF OZ's biggest accomplishment was paving the way for the far superior WIZARD OF OZ 2: THE SQUEAKQUEL. Well, the assholes that run movie studios finally struck brown gold with OZ: THE GREAT AND POWERFUL, starring a high as fuck James Franco as well as Mila Kunis, who honestly looks like she has no idea what the hell she is supposed to be doing. I think she's supposed to be acting, but it's tough to say for sure. OZ: THE GREAT AND POWERFUL proves that you can wrap a turd in money and try to make it look pretty, but underneath it's still a wet, steaming turd.

 

Before I tell you more about this movie, I need to explain to you the circumstances that led me to watch this trainwreck. I was sitting in an airport terminal, waiting to catch a plane home. My plane lands and rolls up to the gate, and while I'm getting ready to board, the previous trip's passengers stroll out. The thing that caught me as odd was that one of them came out on a stretcher.

 

Apparently there was a medical emergency on the plane, and all of the emergency oxygen was used up. Not, mind you, the shit that pops down from the ceiling when the fuselage rips in half, but a little medical tank of emergency oxygen that can be filled at any fire station or hospital. Well, since that was empty, we had to wait for four hours to get on the plane. In my spare time, I went to the bar and had a few drinks. Not enough to get drunk, unlike some unlucky woman who was not allowed on the flight, just one or two drinks to ease the stress.

 

Finally, the wonderful people at PlaneGreen (don't want to single out any airline, so I randomly made up a name) seated us, and we got a selection of free movies to watch. Now, this airline has individual TVs in the seats, and my choice was between this piece of trash, THE HANGOVER 2 (which was also trash but I had already seen it), and some nameless romcom. I was forced to watch OZ.

 

I heard some bad things about OZ: THE GREAT AND POWERFUL but I picked it anyway. And damn, it was cringeworthy. It did not make my flight any better. I wanted to turn away. I wanted to change the channel, but I kept fighting through. I earned this free movie, and damnit, I was going to finish it.

 

I know my experience sounds like it may have negatively biased the movie for me, but trust me, I would've hated it even if I saw it in theatres. Everybody was just so awful in it. There were absolutely no characters that I rooted for or even cared about. It's very clear that the writers phoned it in, just like the actors, and the director only cared about making it as AVATAR-esque as possible. Whereas the original WIZARD OF OZ was a landmark in film innovation, this one was boring and uninspired. I couldn't really see anyone older than seven years old liking this, and I don't know why anyone under seven would want to watch this when they could just stay at home and watch Adventure Time. Don't waste your time watching it. It's not dudefest at all.

Henry "That's Not My Name" Henry is currently being held in an undisclosed location.

R A T I N G S
2.5
I'll give it a few mercy points because I watched under bad conditions. However, I can't think of anything in it that could be remotely dudefest.
1.5
Isn't this the movie that killed Heath Ledger?
4
Decent amount of cans, so I can't in good faith give it under a 4.
2 Comments
03-06-2014 | 10:54 AM
I'll tell you the opposite of dudefest, its whatever CGI voodoo they did to Mila Kunisa at the end
03-04-2014 | 10:28 AM
This article went from Movie review, to sad story at the airport, back to movie review. I see what you did here Henry. Something happened, right here.
10 MOST DUDEFEST MOVIES
Display iuyufa7
Display the departed
Display empire strikes back alternative poster
Display shawshank redemption 1
Display lone survivor movie6
Display the avengers super secret boy band the avengers 30877475 1900 1200
Display matrix logo
Display guardians poster via marvel
Display captain america the winter soldier trailer 0
Display lehb0vi
10 LEAST DUDEFEST MOVIES
Display 167364 216091 9vi3oojpg 620x
Display display film reel
Display anipadme2
Display uab6lra
Display star wars holiday special
Display dm ac 00047 website version
Display gril9zy
Display v8qq73e
Display cklxkc7
Display dvoemju
RECENT COMMENTS
9 months ago
As the name suggests, vmate App is videos downloader resume. in any case, it features a considerable measure of parts which render it totally...
on Best ROCKY Movies
10 months ago
锘縱mate is significant gigantic software relatively seen in huge numbers of people universal. in this request offers complete film to the user at...
on Review of TRANSFORMERS: AGE OF EXTINCTION
11 months ago
锘縱mate is one of the crucial large application very looked at and also by many of us internationally. this excellent app will provide complete...
on Review of THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION
11 months ago
As suggested by its name, vmate App is a slidemovie downloader job application. no matter the reason, it features considerable way of measuring...
on America's Sweetheart (Jennifer Lawrence's Booty)
11 months ago
锘縱mate is essentially the most colossal software package passing used courtesy of a myriad of people intercontinental. our instance renders...
on Review of THE INCREDIBLE HULK
11 months ago
锘縱mate is most people large iphone app ultra looked at with untold numbers of folks across the globe. this one app features complete activity for...
on THE REPLACEMENTS (Where Are They Now?)
11 months ago
锘? vmate is usually software package that lets you free download [url=http://www.vmate.com/]vmate[/url] video lessons plus songs this Youtube,...
on Review of X-MEN: DAYS OF FUTURE PAST
12 months ago
锘? vmate is certainly an software package that allows you to download and read [url=http://www.vmate.com/]vmate[/url] clips then songs inside the...
on Review of CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER
about 1 year ago
锘? vmate may well be an practical application that allows you to receive [url=http://www.vmate.com/]vmate[/url] tutorials and moreover songs on...
on Review of RISE OF THE FALL OF THE DAWN OF THE PLANET OF THE APES
about 1 year ago
锘? vmate is surely an app that lets you find [url=http://www.vmate.com/]vmate[/url] music videos and as a consequence songs your Youtube,...
on THE REPLACEMENTS (Where Are They Now?)