How many different ways can you refer to masturbation?

I don't doubt any reader's capabilities, but I'm almost positive YOUR HIGHNESS has you beat. First of all, it has Danny McBride in it; secondly YOUR HIGHNESS has Natalie Portman in a kickass warrior role. So any masturbation references are well-founded.

YOUR HIGHNESS is a medieval comedy: it takes some (not too many, but some) dudefest fighting scenes and combines them with foul-mouthed modern banter. One of the best things about the film is that it was entirely improvised; which explains its lack of, you know, a good script. The story centers around McBride as Prince Thadeous (trust me, its spelled that way), who is the younger brother of Prince Fabious (James Franco). Fabious is the increasingly more successful Prince, and Thadeous just likes to get high with trolls and pet heavily with midget queens. The story doesn't expand much beyond that to give much other than a framework for dick jokes, a little action and Thadeous and Fabious to have a little bromance.

Fabious' Bride (Zooey Deschanel) is stolen by a dark wizard Leezar, so the Prince and his brother Thadeous embark on a quest to save her; Thadeous, obviously, is ill-prepared. The knights that were accompanying the brothers turn on them, resulting in a passable medieval chase scene with horses. 40% dudefest. They escape, to find themselves in a pit of death with Natalie Portman (played by Natalie Portman), who saves their asses with another okay battle scene. She IS attractive. Especially when saving asses. Portman and Thadeous join forces for a sec to get a mythical weapon and save Fabious from the turncoat-knights and dark wizard, along with Fabious' bride-to-be. Portman is appropriately badass, and turns down Thadeous' offer to come home with him, only to return later once she had taken care of business. THAT'S 100% dudefest.

I enjoy swearing in general, but am not one to flaunt it. However, I love the swearing in this movie. Somehow it adds a whole comedic layer to the dialogue between and characterization of Thadeous and Fabious. The vulgar dialogue (which, again, is 100% off the cuff) comes across like Danny McBride's Thadeous: at first glance childish and unsophisticated... and then you realize that's just what you were hoping for.