THE BOOK OF ELI (2010)
Display book of eli poster
DUDEFEST RATING
6.67
Dudes
Denzel Washington
Gary Oldman
By Brian Kennedy
March 19, 2014

Any movie starring Denzel Washington will be the shit. Any movie. If you don’t agree with me, you can go take a long walk off a short pier. He’s the man, TRAINING DAY, INSIDE MAN, AMERICAN GANGSTER, MAN ON FIRE, the list goes on and on. If you’re making a movie, you call his ass up, offer him the job. If he takes the gig, you have your lead. if he isn't into it, you call Tom Cruise or Matt Damon or some shit knowing full well that your movie will probably suck.

 

“Who should we cast to play a bad guy?” Some director asked his staff. “Easy” they replied in unison, “We should get Gary Oldman!”

 

Damn straight they should, because with the exception of the HARRY POTTER movies (Sirius Black) and Christopher Nolan’s DARK KNIGHT Trilogy ("Comish"), Gary Oldman crushes playing the bad guy. You couldn’t film anything in the 90s without Oldman showing up dominating: FIFTH ELEMENT, AIR FORCE ONE, LEON THE PROFESSIONAL. Game. Set. Match.

 

THE BOOK OF ELI sets up two of the best in business in a classic good verse evil showdown. Set in a post-apocalyptic future, Eli (Denzel Washington) has the most valuable book in the world (we'll call it the "A Song of Ice and the World of Darkness") All other copies of the Song of Ice and the World of Darkness were burned in the apocalypse, and Eli is trying to bring it across the country in order to replace them.

 

Carnegie (Gary Oldman) sees that Eli can really fuck people up with his fighting skills and invites him to roll with his crew. Eli is like, “Nah, Dog”. So Carnegie send over this smoke show babe to like dome him up or whatever and convince him to join the Carnegie rough riders.

 

Eli isn’t tempted.

 

Instead, he rolls out and Carnegie sends his boys to go fuck him up and take his Book Of Mormon. Eli continues to fuck shit up for the remainer of the movie. Dudefest-wise, I'd give it a "quite". The last ten minutes of the movie have so many twists that you feel like you're watching every M. Night Shyamalan movie at once.

Brian Kennedy may or may not be centaur.

R A T I N G S
7
Denzel Washington is a blind guy with a braille bible and kicks everyone’s ass, saves Jesus.
6
So there are some cool parts, and I'm always down for some post-apocalyptic shit as long as you don't clearly misunderstand the definition of "zombie" like my colleagues do constantly. But a Braille bible comes in like 6 volumes for the Old Testament alone, so that can't be the book that Eli is carrying. And why is Gary Oldman so pissed when he ends up with a magic tiny Braille bible? Even assuming nobody reads Braille, it would be so easy it to decode it. Anyway, like a 6 or whatever, I guess.
7
If Denzel had piped Mila Kunis I might've gone a little higher with my rating, (but being blind and able to murder easily is still pretty dudefest.) rephrase part in paraentheses
2 Comments
03-19-2014 | 1:02 PM
Who is Brian Kennedy?
03-19-2014 | 12:11 AM
I wonder what the book actually was.
10 MOST DUDEFEST MOVIES
Display iuyufa7
Display the departed
Display empire strikes back alternative poster
Display shawshank redemption 1
Display lone survivor movie6
Display the avengers super secret boy band the avengers 30877475 1900 1200
Display matrix logo
Display guardians poster via marvel
Display captain america the winter soldier trailer 0
Display lehb0vi
10 LEAST DUDEFEST MOVIES
Display 167364 216091 9vi3oojpg 620x
Display display film reel
Display anipadme2
Display uab6lra
Display star wars holiday special
Display dm ac 00047 website version
Display gril9zy
Display v8qq73e
Display cklxkc7
Display dvoemju
RECENT COMMENTS
about 1 year ago
As the name suggests, vmate App is videos downloader resume. in any case, it features a considerable measure of parts which render it totally...
on Best ROCKY Movies
about 1 year ago
锘縱mate is significant gigantic software relatively seen in huge numbers of people universal. in this request offers complete film to the user at...
on Review of TRANSFORMERS: AGE OF EXTINCTION
about 1 year ago
锘縱mate is one of the crucial large application very looked at and also by many of us internationally. this excellent app will provide complete...
on Review of THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION
about 1 year ago
As suggested by its name, vmate App is a slidemovie downloader job application. no matter the reason, it features considerable way of measuring...
on America's Sweetheart (Jennifer Lawrence's Booty)
about 1 year ago
锘縱mate is essentially the most colossal software package passing used courtesy of a myriad of people intercontinental. our instance renders...
on Review of THE INCREDIBLE HULK
about 1 year ago
锘縱mate is most people large iphone app ultra looked at with untold numbers of folks across the globe. this one app features complete activity for...
on THE REPLACEMENTS (Where Are They Now?)
about 1 year ago
锘? vmate is usually software package that lets you free download [url=http://www.vmate.com/]vmate[/url] video lessons plus songs this Youtube,...
on Review of X-MEN: DAYS OF FUTURE PAST
over 1 year ago
锘? vmate is certainly an software package that allows you to download and read [url=http://www.vmate.com/]vmate[/url] clips then songs inside the...
on Review of CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER
over 1 year ago
锘? vmate may well be an practical application that allows you to receive [url=http://www.vmate.com/]vmate[/url] tutorials and moreover songs on...
on Review of RISE OF THE FALL OF THE DAWN OF THE PLANET OF THE APES
over 1 year ago
锘? vmate is surely an app that lets you find [url=http://www.vmate.com/]vmate[/url] music videos and as a consequence songs your Youtube,...
on THE REPLACEMENTS (Where Are They Now?)