BAD BOYZ (1995)
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DUDEFEST RATING
5.62
Dudes
Will "Will Smith" Smith
Martin Lawrence
That chick who you're like "wait where is she from?"
A Turkish-Frank Dude
The guy who ends up being bad in THE MATRIX
By Joe Kennedy
May 01, 2014

BAD BOYZ is a historic film. There, I said it. Well, technically I wrote it, but I also said it at the same time. Fraturday was there. He'll back me up. Anyways, if you're still reading after the opening sentence, then either you're interested in hearing my argument or English is your second language and you're trying to learn. It's probably the second one, because Dudefest.com is a great way to learn English. Dudefest.com: hablamos inglés, y hablaremos también.

 

BAD BOYZ kicked off a multitude of storied careers. This movie provided the first blockbuster starring roles for Martin Lawrence and Will Smith, both of whom have had storied careers in cinema. Mr. Lawrence has starred in more feature films than such acting legends as James Dean, River Phoenix, and Heath Ledger. Oh and not each, by the way. COMBINED. Mr. Lawrence is also one of a few men to play multiple non-twin roles in a movie, sharing the stage with such comedy legends as Mike Myers, Eddie Murphy, and every single member of Monty Python except maybe the non-British guy who does the awesome weird-ass animations.

 

Will Smith's career has somehow been even more successful than Lawrence's. He's been in like a thousand or fewer huge movies since then, like INDEPENDENCE DAY, MEN IN BLACK I to III, and ENEMY OF THE STATE, among others. He even turned down the role of Neo in THE MATRIX to star in the wild wild western (copyright Will Smith) WILD WILD WEST. Ok, that was a bad example. But Smith's greatest claim to fame has been a charity called the Welcome To Earth Foundation, which gives struggling and talentless actors and actresses roles in feature films, most of which feature Mr. Smith himself. The WTE Foundation has provided actors and actresses for movies as diverse as THE PURSUIT OF HAPPYNESS, I AM LEGEND, and AFTER EARTH.

 

Oh and which first-time director directed BAD BOYZ? Michael. Fucking. Bay. (Legally, I need to state that Mr. Bay's middle name is not the f-word.) Michael Bay, best known for his films EXPLOSION, EXPLOSION II: BLAST FROM THE BLAST, and EXPLOSION III: PLOT GETS IN THE WAY OF EXPLOSIONS, has blown up more things than a retired clown. And Mr. Bay got his start with a script that even he thought was terrible. It's essentially just a bunch of action one-liners strung together between cop clichés and awkward attempts at humor. Mr. Smith and Mr. Lawrence are hilarious though, and the explosions at the end of the film provide the viewer with enough of a manrection to end the film on a semi-high note. A half note, if you will. And it has enough sort of recognizable actors from the nineties that you'll spend about half the movie saying, "wait, I recognize that guy from uh... What movie was it? Or maybe it was a TV show?" Legend has it that IMDB's traffic spikes when BAD BOYZ airs on TBS. And "legend" is synonymous with "truth".

Joe Kennedy is a staunch technophobe and suffers from a debilitating fear of human hands. If for some reason you'd like to get in touch with him, send a letter to 463 Mass Ave Cambridge MA 02139.

R A T I N G S
5
If for some reason you're going through the Michael Bay filmography, this is the best film to start with, because chronologically it was first.
5.5
On a scale from 1 to real, how this shit just got: so. Even more real than the movie that line's actually from.
5
I wanted Will Smith to say "Welcome to Earth" for the entire movie. I kinda wanted my money back when it was over. But I watched it at home and there wasn't anyone to complain to.
7
Martin Lawrence became a personal hero of mine for a while after this movie. Really another side of him only Mr. Bay could bring out.
3 Comments
05-01-2014 | 10:28 AM
My middle name is actually Fucking. Jimmy Fucking Fraturday, JFF for short.
05-01-2014 | 10:26 AM
Hodor!
05-01-2014 | 12:34 AM
I heard that the Welcome To Earth foundation is also responsible for WILD WILD WEST.
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